The morning sun filtered through the thin curtains, casting a pale orange light across the hostel room. Outside, birds chirped lazily as the world slowly came alive. Inside, the room buzzed with soft movement, zippers zipping, toothbrushes clinking in mugs, sleepy yawns stifled beneath muffled conversations.
Thabal stood in front of the small mirror above the sink, her damp hair dripping onto her top as she quickly tied it into a loose braid. Her bag lay half-packed on the bed, and her water bottle was still on the desk. Another ordinary college morning.
Just as she reached for her lip balm, her phone buzzed beside the mirror. She glanced at the screen for a moment before picking it up.
"Umm mama" she said in acknowledgement like always.
"Keidawri" her mother asked.
(What are you doing?)
"College chatke tawri. Loishalli" she responded. Her mother didn't responded. Then suddenly a sound came from her phone. Thabal frowned and move it away from her ear to see her mother converting the call to video call. She let out a sigh and pick it up.
(Getting ready for college)
"Phone do kaidano khra lapna thammu" her mother commanded through the screen. Thabal did as she was said to. She placed it on the table and made it leaned on the wall behind it. Then she stood in a distance to it.
(Keep the phone somewhere in a distance)
Her mother didn't said anything for a minute, just looking at her, as if examining something.
"Maning onthoku" she commanded. Thabal did. She turned around facing her back towards the screen.
(Turn back)
"Yare" her mother then said after a moment. Thabal turned to her phone facing her mother who as usual had a stern face whenever she talks to her.
(Enough)
"Kei fhi no ng setli se?" She asked sternly, her voice filled with anger. Thabal looked at her confusingly.
(What dress are you wearing?)
"Top ka jeans kani mama" she said as it was obvious.
(It's top and jeans mama)
"Eigonda taklakkanu. Keino ng setlise. Nupa hawge haina mapan chatliro lyrik tam chatliro? Fhijet yengaga set yadra ng? Angang ra?" Thabal froze as she listen to her mother. What was she even saying?
(Don't teach me. What are even wearing? Did you went to study or woo boys? Don't you even know how to dress modestly? Are you a child?)
"Mama keino ng ngangido-" she started when was cut off rudely.
(Mama what are you saying-)
"Tumin leiu. Nachin do yawrakanu. Ng mapan tamnabei haina dugjam paisa changna tharido si tawnabei ra? Ng akhoi se migi mamang da chophallage haira? Ng karigino sumaina tawise. Mapan gi jatti manadaba nupa singduga loinei ra ng? Ng se akhoi gi maram da karim khandreba? Nache yengu. Ng yengu. Fhi do achamba setpa kei kai? Ng oiroidaba macha ni" her mother ranted angrily, expression full of disgust.
(Shut up. Don't talk back to me. We invested so much money on you just so that you can study outside but you are fooling around instead. Do you want us to loose our reputation infront of the society? Why are doing like this. Are you tangled with the boys out there who doesn't match our caste? You aren't even thinking about us at this point isn't it? See your sister and you. Can't you dress modestly? You are such a useless child)
Thabal didn't said anything. Just froze over her place. No anger, no sadness, no emotions at all. Her mother ended the call with a 'tut'. The phone just stayed on the table and Thabal stood infront of it, not able to move or say anything.
Meera who had heard everything look at her silently. She approached her slowly and held her hand gently.
"Kya kaha?" She asked softly knowing the latter's emotion well. Thabal didn't respond immediately. She still stared at her phone's screen.
"Mere kapre modest nahi hai" she muttered, voice empty with no emotions at all. Hearing her Meera stared at her with a scowl.
"Bhai yeh chota hai toh mein jo pehenti hoon usse toh aunty mujhe ek prostitute ke saath level kardengi" she said gesturing at her spaghetti crop top and slit skirt. Thabal didn't said anything just raked her eyes around and settled on the almirah's mirror, watching herself.
She was wearing a pink sleeveless top, the back was low. The jeans was low waisted which revealed a bit of her stomach. Was this really cheap? It was a normal dress up. Isn't it? What was really wrong with it.
Then her thoughts drifted to Vikram. Different caste. Different language. Different culture. Societal norms and shame. She was doing what she shouldn't be doing. Something that will result on her casted out of her own house forever. She felt a pain constrict in her chest. She heaved a shaky breathe. She wanted to cry, shout but nothing came out. Her heart felt heavy as if something hard and weighting thing was put upon it.
"Bhai Bhai it's so late!! Aache se khaya bhi nahi mein toh-" Shreya came rambling out but immediately stop seeing the tensed environment. She frowned a little in confusion.
"What's wrong guys. Koi mar gaya kya?" She asked them. To which Meera just passed her a shut up look. Shreya didn't failed to see Thabal's lifeless expression, she immediately knew it's something related to her and it's a serious one.
Her eyes met with Meera's. She raised her brow in question. To which Meera shook her head, gesturing to say it later. Shreya nodded in understatement.
Meera placed her hand on Thabal's shoulder gently.
"Tujhe aaj jana hai college? Ya aaj rest karegi?" She asked. Thabal shook her head in return. She grabbed her bag and walked out of the room. Shreya and Meera watched as she headed out.
"Kya huwa usse? Ghar se call aaya tha?" Shreya immediately asked as soon as she heard footsteps tapping on the staircase.
"Hmm" Meera sighed.
"Laga hi tha mujhe bhi. I feel na jitna hum soch rahe mamla usse bhi serious hai. She has got some major mommy issues. Kuch toh bara jhol hai" Shreya let out her thoughts. Meera nodded in agreement.
"Chal uske piche chalte hai. Halat thik nahi hai uska, pata nahi ulta sidha na kare kuch" she said, quickly grabbing Thabal's phone from her table and running behind her, followed by Shreya behind her.
🦋🦋🦋-------------------
The late sun cast a mellow golden hue across the street, filtering through the trees and falling in soft patterns on the ground. Vikram leaned against his jeep, the same spot he always waited for her. He looked casual, jeans, black t-shirt. But his fingers tapped restlessly against the car door, betraying the storm under his calm.
Then, he saw her.
Thabal emerged from the main gate, her eyes downcast, her steps slow. She looked tired. Not just physically, but like she was carrying something she wasn't used to carrying. He straightened, opened the door without a word.
She climbed in, like she had so many times before. But today, she didn't smile. Not a glance. Not even a 'hi' which was very contrasting to her usual behaviour. The engine started, but the silence sat louder than the sound of traffic around them.
Vikram stole a look at her. She was staring ahead, hands clasped in her lap, jaw set. He knew something was wrong. He tried to lighten the mood.
"Long class?" he asked, voice gentle. She didn't respond. His fingers tightened slightly on the steering wheel.
"Thabal?" He called to which she look at him.
"Hmm?" She looked at him with a questioning gaze.
"Tired?" He asked to which she lowered her gaze and just hummed. He sighed softly, pulling the jeep into the road, stealing glances at her every few seconds. She wasn't crying. She wasn't angry. But something had broken.
"Kuch huwa hai?" He asked after a moment of silence to which she didn't respond. Just shook her head.
"Tell me whenever you are ready, I am on all ears" he informed, still driving. He often glance at her, trying to see if any reaction came out or not. But she had her head turn towards the window.
Thabal put her chin on the door, eyes misty. Heart clenching in pain. She was feeling guilty, damn guilty of what she was about to say. For hurting him in advance.
"Well you know i brought chocolates for you. As kisika meetha khake mood thik hota hai. Tumhe nahi khana toh it's okay" she heard him say playfully trying to poke her foodie side out. Hearing it she couldn't control and the tears fell down on its own. She tried not to sob and sniff. Her lips wobbled a little as the tears flowed down her cheeks.
It hurts, not because she wanted to rebel. But because Vikram wasn't a mistake. He wasn't some distraction. He was her peace. Her peace in the chaos. Her comfort in silence.
"Waise mein soch raha tha Pani puri bhi khila doon. Mood thik hoke batana. Warna nahi kha payenge na" Thabal wiped her tears quickly, from her cheeks and eyes.
She then sat straight and looked down.
"S-sir-" she just started but got cut off.
"Pehle toh yeh Sir bolna baand karo. Makes me feel very old" he said and shook his head with a playful sigh. Thabal didn't said anything for a moment. She took a deep breathe before starting.
"Hamare bich jo bhi chal raha hai. Its-its unknown and thik toh bilkul bhi nahi hai. Mere ghar pe yeh sab allowed nahi hai. Aur intercaste marriages toh aur bhi nahi. Hamara koi mel nahi. Aap mujhse 8 saal bare hai. Meri mama yeh sunke aur nahi manegi. Mein agar kisi ke saath bhi rahi toh hamesha ke liye rehna chahati hoon, timepass ke liye nahi isliye hum saath nahi reh sakte" she said heaving a sigh. Vikram didn't said anything, just listened.
"Toh aajse aap mere piche mat aawo. Yeh pick up and drop bhi mat karo. A-aa. A-aajse nahi milenge" her voice cracked at the end. Tears threatening to spill out.
Vikram didn't move. Didn't breathe. The words hung in the air, cold and final. He felt like someone had hit pause on everything inside him. Still, he swallowed hard and continued to drive, his fist clenched tightly on the steering wheel.
"Are you sure?" He asked to which she nodded.
"Muh se bolo" he demanded. Thabal swallowed a cry down and opened her mouth.
"H-haan" her sentence broke as she tried hard for the tears to not spill. Suddenly the jeep stop infront of her hostel building.
"Ase nahi. Meri aankhon mein dekhke bolo. Bolo mujhe ki mein dobara na awu" he spoke turning to her. Looking at her, silently requesting her not to say it. Thabal hesitantly lifted up her moist eyes. Their eyes locked, staring at each other intently. The eyecontact was painful for both of them, in their own ways.
She parted her lips quietly but couldn't utter a word. It felt like her throat has restrained and something was forcing her not to say anything. But she did anyway.
"D-dobara mat aayiye a-aap" she completed and then the tear roll down on it's own as soon as she said. Vikram paused, staring at her deeply as if trying to read her. Then he nodded. A quiet, restrained nod.
Because what else could he do? She wasn't pushing him away out of hatred. She was breaking her own heart to push him away. He knew something was wrong. And that made her say it. But he can't force her to stay with him at this emotional state.
After a long moment, he finally spoke.
"Okay" One word. Steady. Even. But beneath it, a sea of heartbreak churned. She reached for the handle, but paused, her hand trembling slightly.
"I'm sorry" she whispered.
He looked at her, eyes soft but heavy.
"Don't be" he muttered softly. She opened the door and stepped out, not looking back as she walked away. Tears fell continuously from her eyes nonstop. She exhaled a large breathe of air trying to stop her tears but couldn't. Instead she felt more emotional, her heart churning painfully.
Her heart broke seeing him gone, although the fault was hers. The way he respected her space and agreed without any further argument, it made her heart ache. Because maybe if she fought with him, her heart will hate him and it will be easy to forgive him. But the situation was quiet a contrast to her thoughts.
Vikram sat in the jeep, fingers clenched around the wheel, watching her figure disappear around the corner, like the ending of a chapter neither of them wanted to write, but were forced to finish. He didn't start the engine right away. Because somewhere inside, something had gone quiet.
Not the kind of silence that follows anger. But the kind that follows love you're not allowed to hold on to.
___________☁️____________
Hope you enjoyed it
Stay safe sweeties🐻🌸
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